Am I Alice?
by Lysi Nothuna
Summary: Hermione reads a cursed Alice In Wonderland book. With the souls of the characters trapped within her, can she fight the madness and stay Hermione? Or will she succumb and become Alice? Warning: Dark, self harm, character death, attempted murder, bouts of madness, and lots of time for tea. Set during the sixth book after Harry first sees Slughorn's memory.
1. Prologue

Am I Alice?

By: Lysi Nothuna

I own nothing

Prologue 

"_I invite to a world where there is no such thing as time_

_And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind_

_And the girl who chased the rabbit drank the wine and took the pill_

_Has locked herself in Limbo to see how it truly feels_

_To stand outside your virtue_

_Where no one can ever hurt you_

_Or so they say"_

_-Shinedown "Her Name Is Alice"_

Hermione Granger was in the library at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was a sunny day and most students were outside enjoying the rare sunshine. Because of this she was the only one in the library other than the librarian Madame Pince who was in her office. This was the perfect opportunity if one wanted to access the Restricted section without getting caught. And that was what Hermione was planning to do.

Her plan was to look for books concerning Horcruxes. Her friend Harry had "overheard" someone mention them and was curious as to what they were. She decided to look for him because she was the bookworm of the group and if anyone were to find a book on Horcruxes it would be her.

As she silently walked through the Restriction section a book fell to the ground with a thud. Fearing she had been caught, Hermione ran to the end of the shelf and peeked around to see who was there. The area was empty. Assuming that the book was a charmed one that tended to want to fall off of the shelf she went back and went to go put it away. She picked it up and read the title as she went to put it back. It read _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland._

"Now why would a Muggle fairytale be in the Restriction Section?" Hermione whispered to herself. She sat down, with her back against the shelf, and began to read, hoping to find out. The story was no different than any other she had read other than the fact that the story looked like a first edition. As she continued to read she felt something inside of her, almost like a pressure on her heart. Then mist came from the book and whispering voices chanted in her head in a language she could not understand. She tried to shut the book but it wouldn't let her. She tried to get up but her legs felt like lead. She tried to scream but no voice came out. With the chanting growing louder in her ears she passed out, but not before her eyes changed color. They went from her brown to blue, then to lime green, then red, then black, purple and finally back to brown.

AN: What happened to poor Hermione? Read and find out! I will try to update when I can but I have lots of ideas and other stories to work on as well. Don't forget to try them out as well! Also check out my page on Quotev which is under my same pen name. Review and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"_Trippin' out, spinnin' around_

_I'm underground_

_I fell down_

_Yeah, I fell down"_

_-Avril Lavigne "Alice"_

Hermione woke on a bed. She had no idea where she was or why. She tried to open her eyes but they refused to work. So she kept her sleeping posed as she listened to the voices that had begun talking.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I think so. I gave her a Calming Drought to stop her night terrors. I also gave her a Fever Reducer. Hopefully that should help."

"When will she wake up?"

A sigh. "I have no idea Mr. Weasley. It could be now, it could be weeks. She's in a coma. Coma's are tricky things."

"Thanks. Madam Pomfrey."

"Your welcome, child. Don't you worry. She's safe here."

"I want to stay with her anyway. Is that okay?"

Silence. "If you must. It may be better for her. Let me know if her condition changes."

"Will do." There was the sound of something being scraped up next to her. Suddenly someone was running their hand soothingly over her forehead. She wanted to fight it off but remained still.

"Hey Hermione," a male voice said. So that was her name! She had completely forgotten but she thought that it was something else. Oh well. But who was this man who knew her and had a name that sounded like weasel? "I hope you wake up. You've been asleep for two weeks now." Two weeks! What had happened? "Nothing much has happened. Snape is still an unfair git and tried giving you detention for being in the Restriction Section of the Library." So she had been reading something that was not allowed to be read when she blacked out. Interesting. "He didn't though when he discovered that you were in a coma. He claimed you were conscious when he found you though. He told Madam Pomfrey that you kept muttering strange things that didn't make sense. Something like jabby and marina. Then you had a seizure. It freaked the shit out of me and Harry." Jabber? Marina? Those words seemed familiar but off. The name Harry also rang a bell, but barely. "Madam Pomfrey had to stabilize you and give you a Calming Drought because she said you were suffering from Night Terrors. And I thought it was Harry who had a messed up sleeping schedule!" he laughed weakly at his joke. "But I really wish you would wake up. I love you Hermione. I wouldn't tell you that when you're awake, in fact I will probably deny it, but I love you. So please wake up." He grasped her hand and kissed her softly before she felt his hand slip and heard a scraping sound as the man pushed his chair back and got up. "Bye Hermione. I'll take notes for you, but I don't think that they'll help much." Then she heard footsteps and the sound of a door opening and closing before she lost consciousness again.

~AIW~HP~AIW~HP~

Ron Weasley was busy sitting in the Infirmary with his best friend Harry Potter when she woke up. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave a soft moan as her body struggled to escape from sleep's grasp.

"Harry! She's awake! Hermione's awake!" Ron exclaimed happily.

"Uhh…." Hermione groaned as she struggled to a sitting position. She failed and collapsed back onto the bed. She tried again and was able to sit up.

"Hi, Hermione. I'm glad you're awake. Everyone has been missing you," Harry said.

Hermione gave them a confused look. "Hermione? My name is not Hermione."

"Yes it is. You must be confused," Harry insisted. Ron watched with increasing worry. What happened to his Hermione?

"No...," she shook her head slowly. "It's Alice. Alice Kingsley."

"Your name is Hermione Granger. You are a student at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You are the smartest girl in the school, which is surprising since you are a Gryffindor and not a Ravenclaw. You are also best friends with me, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter. You are prefect and you are sixteen. Your parents are dentists and you are Muggleborn," Ron informed her. He hoped fervently that it would all click, that his Hermione would come back. But no flicker of recognition flashed in her eyes.

In fact, something was off about her eyes. They were blue, not brown. Odd. Ron always thought they were brown. He guessed that he must have been mistaken as no one else had pointed it out.

"Something is off, isn't there? Do I not belong? What happened?" Hermione, no Alice, asked.

"We don't know. We were hoping that you would remember. I guess you don't?" Harry asked. Alice shook her head no. "Then can you tell us what you can remember?"

She sat down with a grace that not even Hermione had and put her head in her hand in a pondering pose, completely opposite of what Hermione would have done while thinking hard. Normally Hermione would have furrowed her brow and bit her lip. That was not the case.

"I remember a proposal. In a garden. Everyone was wearing dresses and suits of the finest silks. It was a pretty day, but I was sad. Something awful was going to happen. The man who proposed, he was the most _distasteful _man I had ever met," she shuddered in revulsion. "He got on one knee and everyone thought that I would say yes. But I saw something…. I think it was a rabbit. Yes it was wearing a waistcoat and kept checking his pocket watch. I ran after it…. Everything becomes blurry after that," she said. Ron noticed during her little speech that her voice was off too. More gentle, lighter, almost like Luna's. But it was haunted and serious, a voice that held too much experience in saying serious things than a teenager should have. A voice Hermione didn't have.

"Her-er, Alice, this never happened. You were never proposed to in any garden. There was no rabbit in a waistcoat," Harry insisted.

This caused Alice to grow angry. Her head got redder and redder until it was almost purple. Her eyes had also changed to red. In a very loud, cruel and commanding tone she shouted, "No! It happened! _I_ happened! How DARE you insult me?"

Harry and Ron backed away nervously. "We'll just…go." Alice nodded her head in agreement and the two scampered off looking for Madam Pomfrey.

Minutes later they came back dragging Madam Pomfrey. They had explained to her Hermione's symptoms as they walked and had convinced her something was wrong. But when they came back they found a calm, brown eyed Hermione.

"Wha-? Your eyes… they were, they were blue!" Ron stuttered.

"We swear! And you called yourself Alice!" Harry added.

"Me? Call myself Alice? You must be mistaken Harry. And Ronald, you of all people should know that my eye color always has and always will be brown. Now can someone care to explain why I'm here?" Hermione said, sounding like her old self. Madam Pomfrey had moved over to Hermione and was doing a quick physical while muttering something about paranoid students.

"We don't know. We were hoping you would tell us," Harry said.

She furrowed her brow and chewed her lip, another sign that it was indeed Hermione, and recalled, "I remember being in the library. I saw a book fall, as if someone had pushed it out of its place. I picked it up to put it back. That's all I can remember before I blacked out."

"Do you remember the title of the book?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she continued to check Hermione for anything out of sorts.

"Um….no. I didn't get a good look. Or I did but I don't remember," Hermione shook her head.

"That's too bad. Well, you check out. You may go. If you have any other problems you may come back," Madam Pomfrey said.

"I do have one last question," Hermione said.

"Shoot," Madam Pomfrey said.

"How long was I out?"

"Two weeks dearie. Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter have taken notes for you and have collected your homework."

Hermione started pacing anxiously, another one of her traits. "I'm gonna fail," she whimpered.

"No you're not," Ron soothed. He walked up and whispered to her, "I had a Ravenclaw take the notes for you. Don't worry. And McGonagall didn't give you much homework, neither did Slughorn. I wish I could say otherwise for Snape you know how that git is."

Hermione's eyes brightened a little, "Thank you." She turned to Harry. "Let's go back to the common room. I have a lot of catching up to do."

**AN: Up next: something strange is happening to Hermione, and only two people can see it. One is the only one that can help her, but he dismisses her strange behavior until she hits a breaking point. Can the two save her? Or is she lost for good? Review but no flames! They will be used to help burn Alice Liddell's house!**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_"I found myself in Wonderland_

_Get back on my feet, again_

_Is this real?_

_Is this pretend?_

_I'll take a stand until the end"_

_-Avril Lavigne "Alice"_

Two weeks passed without incident (unless you count Neville melting another cauldron) and the episode that happened in the Medical Wing was forgotten by the Golden Trio. Transfiguration class had begun and everyone was busy writing notes. The only sound in the room was the furious scribbling of quills on parchment, the turn of a book page, or the occasional cough/hiccup/sneeze from the occasional student.

Professor McGonagall was quite satisfied. The class was quiet for once, there wasn't any squabbling between the Trio or Malfoy (something that was more and more common), no problems with other Gryffindors that required her attention and no life threatening incidents in any other parts of the castle that ended up putting it in lockdown (like in Mr. Potter's 3rd year). So the Professor enjoyed one of these few quiet days as she leaned back into her seat with her nose in a rather interesting Muggle book.

It was about five minutes before the bell when it began. A tapping sound, coming from one of the desks. It was in a second beat, a quick steady _TAP! TAP! TAP!_ It sounded like a clock; the tapping was in such sync. Two minutes before the bell and it still hadn't stopped. _TAP! TAP! TAP!_ It was killing her. Every time she tried to read a sentence; _TAP!_ She could no longer concentrate, and she guessed neither could the students.

She looked up from her book, determined to figure out the cause. She was partly right about it being distracting to the students. All the kids near the source of the sound had started twiddling with their quills or were staring into space. Some a little bit away sent dirty looks to the source of the sound, but continued writing. The ones in the back of the room had no inclination that the noise even existed; they were too far away both mentally and physically to notice.

"Miss Granger, I demand you refrain from that most despicable tapping. It is distracting to both me and your fellow students," she ordered. She could not see her face, as it was turned to the clock. She glanced up at it and realized that Miss Granger really _was_ tapping in sync with the clock. For every second passed there was a tap, and it was never off beat. It took great concentration to commit oneself to accomplishing such a feat. Impressive, but still annoying nonetheless.

When she didn't stop she asked her again, this time more loudly. "MISS GRANGER! Stop that foolish tapping AT ONCE!"

She continued to ignore her. How dare she! Even more shocking was that it was her of all people. Mr. Malfoy, yes, she could see that. Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley (along with the rest of the class) had noticed the altercation and leaned over to Miss Granger.

"Hermione, snap out of it!"

"Quit it Hermes! McGonagall's gonna give you detention!"

They continued sending her whispers like this, hoping Professor McGonagall wouldn't notice. Yeah, right. She was standing but a few feet away. But she let it slide. They were trying to get her to stop, that was all that mattered.

The bell rang and she didn't quit tapping until it did. Immediately, she sprang up and made a mad dash to the door. Her gait was odd, it was almost in leaps and bounds compared to a sprint.

"Miss Granger, don't you dare leave," she ordered her sternly. She still ignored her and went to leave anyway. Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley grabbed her and dragged her back to Professor McGonagall.

"Thank you. Ten points each to Gryffindor," Professor McGonagall said.

"Your welcome, Professor. I don't know why she is acting like this," Mr. Potter told her. With that the two left for their next class. Miss Granger had found herself occupied with more tapping and was mumbling something too.

"I'm late, I'm late. She's gonna have my head if I'm late. I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date," she muttered frantically.

"Miss Granger! Get a hold of yourself! Now answer me, why have you been ignoring me?" Professor McGonagall demanded.

"I'm late. I'm late, for a very important date," was all that she replied.

"Answer me! Or do I need to fetch Professor Snape for a Calming Draught?" McGonagall asked, desperate to get her to shut up and answer her. Still she didn't respond and was staring fixatedly at the clock, mumbling the same things over and over again.

"Look at me!" Professor McGonagall snapped patience on edge. She jumped and turned to face her, fear etched clearly on her oddly pale face. Professor McGonagall noticed that her eyes were bloodshot and her irises were a strange shade of pink.

A small amount of concern and worry pricked her emotions. What if she was sick? Or perhaps she had been hexed by someone; she had enough enemies as she was an easy bullying target.

"Did someone do this to you?" She asked, letting her concern creep into her voice. She hoped it would show that she was serious and wanted this issue to be resolved.

Miss Granger opened her mouth, as if to say something, but closed it again. Her eyes were twitching, as was her hands. Her body was swiveled towards the door as well, as if waiting for a chance to escape.

Professor McGonagall sighed. Yep, she had definitely been hexed by someone. Or she was suffering a very major anxiety attack. She flicked her wand and locked the door to prevent Miss Granger's escape. She proceeded to take her wand, which Miss Granger had started to tap with, sending a flurry of sparks out of its tip. She didn't fight but instead started to just tap with her fingers.

After making sure escape wasn't possible, she went down to the Potions classroom and retrieved a Calming Drought. Professor McGonagall was about to hand it to her when she realized something had changed about her. Her face had returned to its normal color, her eyes had become deep brown again, and the whites were white. She had stopped tapping and twitching, her mumbling had become nonexistent. In short, she looked as if she didn't just have an anxiety attack or whatever caused the recent madness.

"Did I nod off Professor? I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you by any points docked or detentions deemed necessary," she told Professor McGonagall. She eyed Miss Granger, she spoke sincerely, as if she really did have no idea what happened for the last five minutes.

"Um….yes. I believe you did. Ten points for sleeping in class, another ten for being late to your next class," she told Miss Granger confusedly. Something was seriously messed up. Maybe she too fell asleep and had dreamed the whole episode. But then she looked down at her hands, one holding a Calming Drought, the other holding Miss Granger's wand. It was clearly no dream, unless she had started sleepwalking.

Miss Granger too had noticed what she was carrying. "Professor, why do you have my wand and a Calming Drought?"

"You had pushed it with your hand when you fell asleep; it had fallen so I had taken it for safekeeping until you woke up. The draught is for another student in the Medical Wing. I was going to deliver it after you left," Professor McGonagall lied. Miss Granger nodded and Professor McGonagall handed her back her wand. She pocketed it and continued to sit patiently.

"Well? Go on, you're dismissed. I won't give you a note though. Another price to pay for sleeping in class," she snapped. Miss Granger nodded again, grabbed her things, and quickly left.

Professor McGonagall sat down in her chair in a daze. What the hell just happened? She eyed the potion and decided to take it herself; she needed it now more than ever to deal with this brain overload.


End file.
